her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
