You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize