Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think I died a long time ago.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
