To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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