Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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