lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
