dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
