even my farts smell like vagina
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Are we still banned from the library?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
