Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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