are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
