he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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