Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize