I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
