That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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