Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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