i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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