Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
