don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
