Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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