chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
