look no pants
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
