Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
