What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
