yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
