Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
