I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i believe in u and ur pee
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
