Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize