What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
