she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize