I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
