its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
