the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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