I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
