Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im part way to drunk.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
