Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
