You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
