the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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