They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
