...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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