Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
