So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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