Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
