But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
and you fell through a lawn chair
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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