I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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