I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize