No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
