Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
