bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
