So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
