she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
