It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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