I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
