Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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