She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
