In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize