Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
