Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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