but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize