There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize