I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
