I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
