my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
