I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
