:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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