Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
