when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
